I thank...

Since the year is coming to an end, and we're all supposed to look back on all the stuff that we did and did not, let me do my share of it. While it has been a difficult year, I have to say there are plenty of things I have to be really thankful for. Since I don't believe in God, and never prayed in years, I suppose I can't thank Him. So I guess I have to thank either Mother Nature or Gods of Randomness (I do think they exist though).

Since Mother Nature can't be too pleased with me right now, coz I drive a fuel-guzzling sports bike (I plan to make amends, buy a bicycle and become a hippie this year, so please be patient, Mother Nature). So I have Gods of Randomness left. Heya, fellas. I know you guys have no special love for me, but here are the things I got through your mysterious ways, and here's my heartfelt thanks:

1. Thank you for letting me work with great clients and the chance to have exciting work. I could not have asked for better people to work with. Perhaps, they're the only people I have to thank after you, dear GoRs.

2. Thank you for the health of my family. I realize that there is no bigger fortune than that. They have always been the rock that I could lean on, no matter how many times I screwed up.

3. Thank you for letting me fail. I would not have learned all those great lessons if I won. This is a defeat I needed for me to grow into a better person. A really, really heart-felt thank you.

4. Thank you for giving me enough room to get up from the debacle. I know things could have been worse, but they weren't. I feel lucky.

5. Thank you for the new friends. There was a dark time when I thought I didn't deserve any. I'm surprised to think that forgiveness for one's own mistakes comes from unexpected places. These people helped me come back from the brink. They still do. And I'll remember the lessons too.

6. Thank you for the great cousins I have. They're more like friends to me, but they're family. Best of both worlds.

Wishing you all a very Happy, Prosperous New Year. May you be in better health than ever, may you find your soulmates and may you always stay true to yourself. Onward, ho.

The Road We All Have to Walk

It's funny. Once upon a time, this blog used to be intensely personal. If you can find the previous avatar of this one, you can still find my heart laid bare all over the place. I suggest you don't read it coz it's totally embarrassing :). But these days, writing anything personal seems like a chore. There are too many doors to open, even if I want to write a little bit about what I feel. And I'm not the person who says personal things in a vague manner. If I'm hurting, I say so, and I'm sure at least a few of the readers of this blog won't be comfortable with that :).

All I can say is, things are changing so much for me that it's bewildering. Simply put, I can't write about it here. It's way too personal.

But you see someone else going through the same phase that you did years ago. And they will probably make the same mistakes that you did. You want to warn them not to, but you suddenly realize that it's not your fight. Getting involved, will only mean getting hurt once again. I did that a long time ago, and I'm still paying the price for that. Well, I guess we all learn our life lessons the hard way. All you can do is hope they're smarter than you and avoid the mistakes that you did. Good luck, and peace out.

Heh