Hmm. Would I be more scared if I'm richer?

I've been seeing all these headlines and blog posts... dangerous times... financial crisis... world is in turmoil... blah blah. And why exactly are people so scared of losing their money? I know, that's a ridiculous question, but it seems to me, the richer you are, the more scared you are about something happening to your fortune. I see this attitude among people who I consider reasonably smart and laid-back about their wealth. So you lose your shirt. You're on the street. So how hard is it really to pick yourself up and start again?

I've been lucky to have what I have now. But never for once, I take any of them for granted. Those are just things. If you set too much store by things, when they go, a big part of you will go away. As they say, failure teaches a lot to you. I've learned from it this much: never take anything for granted. Relationships, friends, money, your job, and all the toys. They can disappear tomorrow. The next question is, obviously, when it actually happens, do you like what you have left with you? What cannot be taken away from you? Can you laugh, shrug, and start again?

If you can, then you are lucky. You are one of the few people on this earth who learned to be really free. Me, I'm trying. Hopefully I'll get there soon enough.

Letting go.

Sometimes, it's the hardest thing to do. You're afraid about the tag that automatically comes with letting go - "failure". So you hang on, desperately trying to make it work. Sometimes, hanging on makes sense, and is the right thing to do - when you know you are fighting the good fight. But sometimes, you come to a point when hanging on might mean success in the eyes of the world, but a failure in yours. It's then, that you have to take the risk of being branded a failure and let go.

I did just that a few days back, but the ingredients were falling into place for a while. It was quite painful to do. Because, this time, a lot of people are watching - but in the end, you just have to trust your gut and go for it. It can be quite liberating - yes, failing is a painful thing to endure, but it is necessary for us to learn. It was necessary for me to realize what it is that I'm really fighting for - and take a good hard look at if I'm fighting the right battle.

So now, I'm in the "fallback and re-group" mode. Biding my time, until it's time to go to war again. This time wiser, and surer. And even that is not easy. Sometimes being at war gives you such a high that you never really take a good look at the losses mounting behind your back. When you do, the sinking feeling comes home. But you knew this day might come, and you're just seeing it in reality now. No big surprise. All that you have left is, a sense of a battle well fought, and lessons learned. The hard way. Bring it on.