| In Java If there is one thing that would help the opensource movement, it's the public execution of every slashdot wanker. Torturing some of the worst offenders would probably be a good step too. Empowering testosterone enslaved teenagers has traditionally been viewed as a very dangerous and risky road to walk down. Slashdot makes all those shitheads feel smug and satisfied that they actually aren't social lepers, masturbating wildly over the fact that there is actually a place for them. Of course, it goes without saying that this bunch of sycophants would look down with disdain on anything java related. After all, it's not cool, it doesn't make them look l33t, and it's far too pervasive in 'the man' dominated workplaces (ie, enterprise anything). They'd rather tug at their unmentionables in the general direction of things that involve hippie bearded men (RMS), frantic arm waving psychopathic Microsoft employees (Miguel of Gnome), or at the very least, kooky scandanavians (Linus). Sadly, that kind of spastic twitching isn't limited to slashdot. We have it aplenty within the java community. Rick Ross for example is a good poster boy for 'morons who have utterly irrelevant opinions that they keep trying to inflict on the rest of us'. So what sparked this fury? The recent slashdot article, with the link to Rick Ross' astoundingly offensive fartings over the Sun/MS settlement. Rick, with friends like you, Java needs no enemies. Your constant incessant whining is an affront of every self-respecting developer everywhere. 'What did we fight so hard for'? Who is this we? The legions of javalobby wankstains who spend their days having marketoidy talks about java, with never a technical point in sight? Or perhaps Rick Ross himself, using the royal we to refer to the years of effort he's spent trying to exploit every angle possible to somehow profit from javalobby. I am baffled by how anyone can be confused by the settlement. I'm sure I'm missing something as it seems incredibly simple and straightforward to me. Instead of fighting it out in the courts for many more years to come, Sun decided to take a significant cash payoff. This means that they will no longer have to keep pouring money into the bottomless pit of the American judicial system. MS will likely keep on with whatever dirty tactics it thinks it can get away with, nothing new there. Will there be increased cooperation? Unlikely, that stuff was just marketspeak to make everyone involved feel that little bit warmer and fuzzier. Is it at all relevant to java? Nope. All it means is that Sun has a bit more money to play with, so it might have an indirect effect on Java, if any at all. If you want open source java, then fuck off and use Mono. I'll periodically pop in to laugh and point at you at how I'm still able to code in Java with all the freedom I need, whereas you've shackled yourself to a trojan horse the like of which hasn't been seen in a few millennia. If you don't like java and are obsessed with open source, then just leave. Go use ruby, perl, python, or any of these other languages. The target audience there is specifically men who have been abused as children, and/or men who have serious self-esteem problems. The rest of us will just keep plugging away at the language we love, with or without your approval. | 
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